More Than This
by Mindy35
Summary: Jack/Liz. Post-ep for "Chain Reaction of Mental Anguish". Liz moves on from Jack.


Title: More Than This

Author: mindy35

Rating: T, adult themes

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Tina Fey, NBC etc. Lyrics are by Mika and are borrowed without permission. No money made.

Pairing(s): Jack/Liz, mentions Jack/Avery, Liz/Carol.

Spoilers: "The Fabian Strategy", "Reaganing", "Gentleman's Intermission", "Chain Reaction of Mental Anguish"

Summary: Post-ep for "Chain Reaction". Liz moves on from Jack.

"_Is it rea__lly necessary, every single day?_

_You're making me more __ordinary, in every possible way._

_This ordinary mind is broken, you did it and you don't even know._

_You're leaving me with words unspoken, you better move on, _

_Coz I'm ready for more than this, whatever it is…"_

-x-x-x-

Jack tapped on her door and walked right in. "I need to speak with you."

Liz looked up from her work. "Ah- is this about business?"

He stopped in his tracks. "I beg your pardon?"

She took off her glasses, glancing him over. "Are you coming in here to discuss business stuff with me?"

"Partially."

"Because anything related to life stuff I can't discuss with you."

His head cocked. "Excuse me?"

"I said anything related to-"

"Yes, I heard you, Lemon. But haven't we already played this scene and rather recently?

"Right, but that was because your girlfriend couldn't hack…" she stalled, waving a hand between them, "whatever this is."

"I thought we figured out what _this_ is," he said, continuing on his way to her couch.

"Did we?" she muttered, watching him take a seat and unbutton his jacket. "Well, anyway… this is different. This is on a doctor's recommendation."

"What doctor?"

"My new therapist."

Jack nodded a few times. "What exactly did this doctor of yours say?"

"Just that we need some distance between us. Or that _I need_…some distance. From you."

"I see." He studied her another moment, lips pursed. "Why's that?"

"You know what-" Liz rose and headed for the desk below her flatscreen. "I can tell you exactly what she said, Jack, because I wrote it down." She rummaged through some papers until she came up with a small notepad. "She says a lot of really smart stuff so I write some of it down to remember later. She said…let's see…" She flicked through a few pages then began, her tone inappropriately upbeat. "She said you reinforce my chronically low self-esteem by being constantly derogatory and dismissive. You contribute to perpetuating the cycle of my trust issues with men by being both unavailable to me and an insubstantial example of modern manhood." She looked up at him then looked swiftly down again at her notes. "Also, the demands of your friendship drain me of all the energy I should be focusing on more important aspects of my life. Namely my love life."

"If you could even call it one."

She threw the pad back on the pile of mess. "I think you just proved her point, Jack."

He shifted on the couch, eyes narrowing at her. "You seem to be surprisingly okay with this, considering how adamant you were just a few weeks ago that you weren't ready to move on from me."

"Well, maybe I'll never be ready, you know?" Liz lent her hip against the desk, giving a pensive shrug. "But maybe I'll just have to try to anyway, maybe it's time I let you go-"

"Let me go?"

She met his gaze, her voice softening. "You have a whole new life now, Jack, everything you always wanted. It's time for me to go out and find everything I want."

"And what makes this doctor lady think that you can't have what you want while still being my friend?"

She looked at her feet, mumbled, "Oh, is that what I am?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Liz lifted her head, spreading her hands. "Look, what can I say, Jack? She made some pretty solid points about why this thing we have happening is not exactly healthy. She asked me a whole bunch of questions-"

"For example?"

"For example…um," she rolled her eyes, rattled off: "do you listen to me, do you support me-"

"Which I do."

"Sure. In your own way."

"Meaning what?"

Liz ignored the question and went on: "She asked whether this relationship overshadowed or otherwise impacted upon my relationship with my boyfriend-"

"You mean the one you still meet a few times a month in a hotel room?"

"Yes." She sent him a mild glare. "Him."

"And you said?"

She huffed, brows knit. "That it did, Jack, because it does."

"And how's that my fault?"

"It's not, it's not your fault." She held up a finger, reciting: "It's never about blame."

His eyes rolled. "Spare me the psychotherapy speak."

"Then-" she continued on, eyes going wide with mortification, "she asked if I ever thought about you during _sex_. And I had to answer _yes_, because since we had our little chat about…what happened in Vegas, whenever I'm with Carol now, in a bedroom scenario, it's like I mentally hear you giving me tips, telling me to do things or more often, not to. But…well, anyway that's a whole other therapy session."

"It certainly sounds like you two have had quite a lengthy chat about me," Jack mused from his position on the couch.

Liz frowned at his tone. "Only in relation to how you affect me."

He got to his feet, drew in a breath. "Tell me then, Lemon, how long did you hold out under such questioning? How hard did you resist before naming names?"

She moved back to her chair but didn't sit. "Jack, come on. It's not like that."

"No?" he stepped closer, facing her across the desk. "So how long did it actually take? How long did it take for this woman to infiltrate your tiny skull? After how many years of friendship…? How long did it take this quack to convince you that I was a bad influence?"

She met his gaze, her eyes troubled, hurt. "Actually, it didn't take long at all."

"Is that right?"

"She only had to ask me one question."

"Which was?"

She paused, shook her head. "I don't have to tell you that."

"You don't, no," Jack returned smoothly. "But as this will be the last conversation of a personal nature we will have for the foreseeable future we might as well be honest with each other, don't you think?"

Liz stared at him for a long time. Then she said: "She asked me how I felt when I was with you, whether I felt good or bad."

There was a heavy silence. Before Jack prompted:

"And?"

"You make me feel bad, Jack," she told him after another pause. She looked down, shaking her head. "You didn't always. But now, you…you make me feel terrible about myself. All the time. You're not a good listener and a…a selfish friend." She gave a mirthless laugh, spreading her palms. "And I love you anyway. But…I need more. I deserve better. _This…_is holding me back now. So I need to move on and find someone who can make me feel…good."

Jack's head bobbed as he took this in. "I see…" He turned his back, moving toward the door slowly.

Liz came round her desk, eyes tracking him with concern. "You can understand that, right?"

"I understand perfectly," he murmured, facing her again. "And for the record, I never meant-"

"I know you didn't, Jack, I know. But, um-" she lent over to retrieve her notepad, pulled out a card from within its pages. "My therapist…she did recommend a man for you, a really highly regarded doctor. He does men's groups and anger liberation stuff. I said you wouldn't go but she gave me this anyway, so..."

Jack took the card from her hand. "Thankyou, Lemon." He paused, eyes scanning her face briefly. "I hope this woman helps you to feel better. And I hope you find all you're looking for. It's all I've ever wanted for you."

"Thanks, Jack." She gave him a weak smile. "I'll see you round."

He bowed his head. "See you round, Lemon." And left.

_END._


End file.
